Have you ever been desperately in love with somebody but that person was in a relationship with someone else? If so, there’s a good chance the idea of trying to split them up has crossed your mind. Perhaps you’ve even tried forcing some kind of intervention. And perhaps you’ve thought about using a break up spell to do the job for you. After all, how can you hope to get together with this special person if they are seeing somebody else?
That’s how Andrew (not his real name) was thinking when he got in touch and asked me to cast a break up spell. He was in love with a girl we will call Rose (that’s not her real name either — I’ve changed both to protect their identity and respect their privacy).
A Difficult Situation
Andrew explained to me at the time that this was a difficult situation. “I was besotted with Rose. There’s no other way to say it, no other word that comes close to explaining how I felt about her. When I woke up in the morning, she was the first thing I thought about. She was on my mind all day. When I went to bed I went to sleep thinking about her.”
Even sleep didn’t bring any respite. “Yeah, I dreamt about her most nights too,” he said when I spoke to him recently as I prepared this article.
So what did Andrew do about his desire for Rose? Did he ask her out? Did her write her a love letter and explain how he was feeling? Did he send roses and chocolates and poetry? Or did he perhaps serenade her in public, like in a romantic movie?
“No,” he says flatly. “I couldn’t do any of those things because Rose was already seeing someone else.”
Some people might not think twice about trying to attract someone else’s girlfriend. Plenty of people see those already in a relationship as ‘fair game’ — a challenge even. But for Andrew there was an added layer of complication, a snag which meant it would have been virtually impossible to make his feelings for Rose public.
“The guy she was seeing was my brother,” Andrew says, his voice quiet now.
Andrew was close to his brother. Closer than most siblings, because they were twins.
“That made it worse,” he admits. “It was like, if she fancies him then she must fancy me too, because we look the same! I mean, I guess I knew that wasn’t how it worked, that physical attraction’s only part of it. But you know, when you’re besotted with someone it messes with your mind and you think crazy stuff like that.”
No Way Forward
Andrew admits that had Rose been seeing anyone else, he wouldn’t have hesitated to try to win her affection.
“Oh yeah, for sure. She was messing with my mind, always there, all I could think about. I wouldn’t have given it a second thought if she’d been with anyone else. I would have asked her out, pursued her. I mean I wouldn’t have been like a stalker or anything, but I would have used my good looks and charm to make her fall for me!” I can tell from his tone of voice he’s joking of course, but I absolutely believe he would have found a way to prise Rose from the grip of a stranger. His fondness for his brother meant it was out of the question though. Or at least, almost out of the question.
“My brother didn’t love Rose. They were dating, they were happy, but they weren’t in love,” Andrew tells me. “But I really loved her. This wasn’t a crush or a passing thing. We saw each other all the time. I see my brother most days. We go out together on weekends. And most of the time Rose is there too. So I saw her all the time. Most days. Every week. There was no escape. That’s how I fell in love with her and how I knew it was the real thing. And it’s how I could tell that he didn’t love her. Not like I did. That’s why I kept thinking, there has to be a way to break them up.”
The Happiness Equation
Andrew told me he was wracked with guilt at the idea of breaking apart a happy couple, but that in his mind it was the lesser of two evils. He said it was that or he would slowly go mad. Besides, he was convinced he could make Rose happier than his brother did.
“It was like a math equation,” he says. “I figured the status quo was that my brother and Rose were averagely happy, and I was very unhappy. But if Rose and I were together, I’d make her even happier. And obviously I’d be ecstatic. So then the equation would be two really happy people and one unhappy. My brother would get over her quickly enough. So to my mind, Rose being with me would mean there was more happiness in the world than there was now. That justified breaking them apart.”
Now the only question was how to split them up. Andrew conceded that he didn’t want to put his relationship with his brother at risk. If he found out his own twin was responsible for his girlfriend leaving him, he might never talk to him again. Then Andrew’s happiness equation would be wrecked. He had to find a way to break them apart without his brother ever knowing that Andrew was behind it.
The Break Up Spell
“That’s when I had the bright idea to use a breakup spell”, Andrew says. “One of my buddies had used a love spell and hadn’t quit telling me about it. To be honest I was sick of him talking about the damned love spell. So that’s what gave me the idea that if there was a love spell that got two people together, there might be a breakup spell that did the opposite. Makes sense, right?”
Well, yes and no. I can certainly see why Andrew would think that way. We see the world as a series of actions and reactions, that everything has an opposite. There’s male and female. There’s light and dark. There’s day and night. There’s winter and summer. There’s good and evil. There is happiness and sadness. The idea of opposites is deeply embedded in our DNA. Of course it stands to reason that if you can cast a spell to make someone fall in love with someone else, that you must also be able to cast a spell to make someone fall out of love, or even make them dislike someone else. Except that’s not how magic works.
Real Love Magic
Real magic, the kind that powers love spells, works by harnessing universal energies — dark energy if we want to get scientific about it. The ‘dark’ in the name ‘dark energy’ doesn’t mean this energy is evil. It’s not like the dark side of then ‘force’ in Star Wars. It just means that we can’t see or measure it (even though it accounts for almost 70% of the energy in the universe).
When I cast a love spell, I’m leveraging this energy to work in harmony with the universe to bring about a positive result. Positive, in this instance, means bringing about happiness. That’s because ultimately the universe wants us to be happy. It seeks unity and joy, not division and bitterness.
Love spells then, are possible because they are in tune with what the universe is trying to achieve. To attempt to cast a break up spell on the other hand, would be to work against the wishes of the universe. To try to actively break apart a happy relationship would be to swim against the tide of the world. It might be possible, but it would take so much effort and energy it would be highly ineffective.
This is why break up spells are a fantasy. They cannot realistically be cast, and certainly I would never accept a request to cast one. Yes, there are people out there who claim to cast break up spells, but sadly they are being dishonest with their clients about what is possible. They prey on the vulnerable to enrich themselves.
Ending a Relationship
I explained all this to Andrew when he contacted me asking me to break apart Rose and his brother. And then I continued and explained why he didn’t need a break up spell anyway.
“At first I was angry,” Andrew admits. “You were the guy who’d cast the love spell for my buddy so I had confidence in you, and you shattered it when you said breakup spells weren’t real. I figured you just didn’t want to help me out. I’d seen ads for breakup spells so I thought you were being obstructive. When you explained it, I understood better. And when you explained what you could do instead, I was much happier.”
I decided to help Andrew for one simple reason: his happiness equation was right. The first of my four criteria for accepting love spell requests is that the person asking for the spell must believe it is right — that it is in harmony with the universe. As part of my decision on which cases to accept, I use a very similar equation to that which Andrew had worked out for himself. The chances were that Rose and Andrew being together would be a net benefit to the universe, and that this meant splitting up Rose and his brother was acceptable ‘collatoral damage’.
Wait a minute, you might be thinking. Aren’t break up spells impossible?
Yes. But that’s not to say that breaking apart an existing relationship through magical means is impossible. In fact it’s very simple. All I needed to do was cast a love spell on Rose to make her fall deeply in love with Andrew. There was no need to try to force her to part from his brother, she would choose to do that herself when she discovered that she was in love with Andrew.
Balancing The Love Equation
“I could see the logic in your way of thinking,” Andrew says. “I wasn’t convinced. But then I was desperate and I had no better ideas so I went along with it. Hey, if it worked, it would make me the happiest man alive. Sure, my brother would be pissed, but he’d get over it. More important, if it worked the way you said it would, I’d be able to live with myself more easily knowing I hadn’t directly split them up. I guess that might be a shaky moral argument for some folks, but for me it was enough.”
When I cast the love spell I paid no attention to Andrew’s brother at all. I cast as I would do for any other spell for unrequited love. Rose would fall for him, and she would choose to leave her current partner as a side-effect. I reported back to Andrew once his spell was cast, and reminded him he would need to be patient as he waited for the effect to take hold.
Break Up / Make Up
“That was the hardest part, the waiting,” Andrew recalls. “I was like, what’s taking so long?”
‘Long’ is relative. Andrew had been in love with Rose for more than a year. After the spell he had to wait about seven weeks, which relatively speaking was not long at all. I do sympathise though, I know how hard that waiting period is. Love cannot be rushed though, it must be nurtured.
In cases like this it often takes a bit longer because the person the spell has been cast on has to make the decision to end their existing relationship. Anyone who’s been in a happy relationship knows that ending it is likely to cause pain, so it’s easy to put it off.
I advised Andrew of this, and he was very understanding. “Yeah, it made sense. I remember you telling me that the spell was working. You said Rose was already developing feelings for me. You said she’d reach a tipping point, that she’d come to realize that she loved me more than my brother. And you know, I think I saw that happen before she left him. Remember I was still seeing her most days, and after a couple weeks her attitude changed. When we were together she was paying me more attention, laughing more at my dumb jokes, looking at me more. Little things, but it was enough to know something was going on.”
Falling in Love
Rose doesn’t know about the spell, Andrew has never told her (or his brother), so we can’t hear how things happened from her side. With four decades of casting love spells behind me though, I know exactly what was happening. She was falling in love with Andrew, and coming to the difficult decision to end things with his brother in order to be with him.
“It must have been hard for her,” Andrew admits. “She didn’t love him but she did really like him and they’d been together a long time. She didn’t want to hurt him, she’s told me that. She said if it had been anyone else she would have quit them sooner when she developed feelings for me. But splitting from him to get with his twin was hard. And in fact when she did end things with him she didn’t get together with me right away. She wanted to put a few weeks space between finishing with him and starting something new with me. Luckily my brother took it well, and he started dating other girls, which Rose said made her feel okay about agreeing to go out with me.”
Andrew and Rose have been together ever since. He tells me they are both very much in love and very happy. His brother has been dating the same girl for around nine months. He has no idea about the spell, and no idea Andrew was behind Rose’s decision to leave him. All three parties who were concerned by the spell are very happy, as is Andrew’s brother’s new girlfriend, so the net-happiness in the universe has increased as expected.
Break Up Spells Are Unnecessary
Andrew’s situation was complicated by his brother being involved, but apart from that it was very common. I get requests much like his almost every week. I always explain the same thing: break up spells simply aren’t necessary. We can achieve the same result through positive actions that are harmonious with the desires of the universe.
Yes, there may be ‘losers’, but they are a side-effect. As long as the net-benefit is positive, there’s no reason not to bring about the end of one relationship in order to create a better one. Sometimes we have to destroy in order to build anew — something that nature does all them time.