I was single for a very long time. Much longer than any of my friends. They used to laugh at me. I was the butt of all the jokes. You know how it goes, the last single friend, everyone else in a long-term relationship. Some of my friends from college were getting married. One even had a child. And there I was, poor old Jack, the lonely one.
When I got invited to weddings, the invitation would always say to “Jack and friend”. Nobody ever expected me to bring anyone to a wedding, but of course they had to be polite and invite me and a plus one. And they were always right, I never had a plus one. Well, except once I took my sister with me to a wedding because I couldn’t face going alone. The irony is that I could have got off with one of the bridesmaids at that wedding, only she thought my sister was my girlfriend — I only found out later when it was too late.
The thing is, I wouldn’t say I was unhappy. The funny thing about being single is that it’s everybody else who expects you to be unhappy. But actually I was fine with it. My last relationship had ended badly and I had no wish to go through more heartache. Whoever said it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all obviously hadn’t been through the kind of break-up I had.
Anyway, as I was saying, it was everyone else who thought that I should be with somebody. The plus ones on the wedding invites, the single supplements when I tried to book a vacation on my own, the restaurants that won’t let me book a table for one — life is geared up to expect couples, and I was single. It didn’t bother me, but it seemed to bother everybody else.
That said, being single does have one downside. There are certain physical needs that everybody has. I guess these needs are stronger in men, I don’t know, I’ve never been a woman. That’s what everybody seems to say anyway. I’m no different, and I’ve always had the same desires as any other red-blooded male. Being alone for years on end, well, you do the math. From time to time it’s nice to offload those desires.
I would never pay for sex. I’ve known people who do and who were fine with it, but to me it just feels a step too far. It’s probably a stupid hang-up to have. There are plenty of professionals who do unpleasant jobs. I assume most sex-workers enjoy what they do, I’ve no idea. It’s just not for me though.
Enter The Apps
Luckily for me, there are apps that let you pull your phone out of your pocket and find someone looking for a hook-up. Which means that on the occasions when my physical desires became difficult to manage there was an avenue open to me to find an outlet, shall we say?
The apps are probably only one step removed from paying for it. It’s still basically just a transaction. But at least both people in this transaction are looking for the same thing. It’s a more balanced transaction, shall we say? Both parties are getting the same thing out of it.
My friends tell me I’m not a bad-looking guy, so I’ve never had much trouble finding what I need using the apps. Pull out the phone, swipe swipe swipe, find a match, and that’s my evening arranged. Netflix and chill. And then back to being happily single.
Except one time, it didn’t work that way.
Tina Was Different
Tina wasn’t the first girl I met on the apps. I’d been through the whole thing a few times — probably a dozen or more if I’m honest. Every time had been the same. We both got what we wanted and by the morning we were both out of each other’s way and never saw each other again.
Tina was different. She was still there in the morning. I made her breakfast and we chatted. She seemed like a nice girl. Conversation flowed easily, and I didn’t feel in any hurry to throw her out. She left about lunchtime, and in parting we swapped numbers.
This in itself is not unusual. I’ve had other women leave me their number, but nothing ever came of it. I’d always seen it as a charade, just being polite. So I was quite surprised when the following weekend Tina texted me: Want to hook up?
I hadn’t got any other plans (most of my friends were off at yet another wedding, one I’d managed to avoid getting invited to), so I thought why not? She was a good-looking girl, and I wasn’t going to turn it down when it was offered to me on a plate.
She came around to my place after dinner as I remember it. It was basically a replay of the previous weekend. I made her breakfast again, we chatted, and she left about lunchtime. She said maybe we can do this again sometime? Sure, I said, why not?
A First Time For Everything
It was the first time I’d ever seen a hook-up girl a second time, so I didn’t know whether to take her seriously or not. When she called on the phone the following weekend, I was still quite surprised. She wanted to meet up again. That weekend I did have something going on, so I had to put her off. I said maybe the weekend after, but she seemed really keen and said maybe we could meet up during the week. Sure, I said. Perhaps we could go for dinner or something.
I regretted it as soon as I had said it. I don’t know what I was thinking. I suppose I figured that was what she was expecting. Anyway, she laughed and said there was no need for that, she would just come around to my place again.
She came back on the Wednesday, we spent the evening in bed, and she was gone by midnight.
This happened twice more, except that something strange was happening to me. Each time she came to my place, we ended up in bed very quickly — which was fine — that’s what she was coming round for. It was the implicit understanding. But after, when we were done, when we were chatting, I felt something I hadn’t felt for a very long time. I didn’t really get it until one week when I didn’t see her, and I found that I missed her.
That was a shock. That was when I realized I liked her. I mean, I really liked her.
In a way I was glad I wasn’t seeing her that week because it meant I could think about these strange feelings. They were not unpleasant, but they were unexpected and unwanted. I was happily single. I didn’t need a woman in my life. I didn’t want the complication. I didn’t want to risk the heartbreak.
Anyway, there was no reason to think that Tina thought anything more of me than being just a human dildo.
A Couple Weeks Later
I saw her again a couple of weeks later. She initiated it. I didn’t suggest going for dinner or anything like that, I just agreed when she said she wanted to see me, and knew she would turn up on the doorstep perhaps with a bottle of wine. That’s exactly what happened. Just as it has happened many times before.
At first I thought I’d been mistaken about my feelings for her. We went to bed and everything went as before. I didn’t feel any particular emotion, it was all physical. But when she left, I felt a strange tug, an unusual and unfamiliar sensation. I was sad she was going. I wanted to spend more time with her, to get to know her better. I kept my mouth shut and said goodbye.
Taking The Initiative
I didn’t hear from Tina again for a few days, so next time it was me who initiated contact. I sent her a message and said I had a table booked at a restaurant, but my date had let me down. Did she want to come along instead? It was cheesy I know, but I didn’t want to scare her off. I thought she’d rather hear that she was my second choice than imagine I was pursuing her.
She wrote back and said dinner wasn’t necessary, but she could be around my place that evening. I said it really would be a shame to let the table go to waste, and she just sent back a laughing emoji.
She turned up at my place late, with a bottle of whiskey. She stayed for some sex and a drink, and left before midnight.
Falling in Love
By now I’d admitted to myself that I really, really liked Tina. No, it was more than that. I was falling in love with her. I guess that sounds kind of mad, after all, most of the time we’d spent together had been in bed. But we’d talked a lot, I knew a lot about her, we shared things in common. It was more than physical. For me, anyway. For her it was just physical.
This went on for another couple of months. Occasionally I would ask her out on a date and she’d laugh or make some joke out of it. She did spend more time at my place though, and we got to know each other more. It was definitely love. But the feeling was not mutual.
To make things worse my friends had begun to notice I was spending less time with them. They suspected there was a woman in my life. When they put this to me, I couldn’t lie and say no, so I admitted I’d been seeing someone.
Now of course they wanted to meet her, to know her name, what she did, what we’ve been doing, where we were going, when I was seeing her next… There was no stopping questions. They were happy for me and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
More to the point, I didn’t want to disappoint myself. I’d stayed single to avoid heartbreak, and now my heart was slowly breaking because I was falling in love with a girl who didn’t feel the same way about me. It was the worst of both worlds.
Friends With Benefits
Well, maybe not entirely the worst. I was still seeing her, and we were still sleeping together. Friends with benefits, I suppose you call it. Not even that. Just the benefits! But I wanted so much more.
I can’t remember exactly when the idea of a love spell occurred to me. The funny thing is, I should never have tried one because after my last relationship broke apart, that horrible painful ending, I had tried a love spell to get back with my ex. It hadn’t worked. The second one I tried didn’t work either, and it cost me a lot of money and even more heartache. I’d promised myself at the time that I’d never again lose money to a scamming spell caster. Yet here I was, thinking about using a spell caster again.
Considering a Love Spell
I figured I had nothing to lose. No, that’s not true. I could still lose some money, which is why I started looking to see if anyone calls spells for free. I honestly didn’t expect to find anyone, so I was very surprised when I found Joshua.
I was also very skeptical. I read everything on the website, all the stories, all the advice. After a few glasses of Tina’s whiskey that she had left behind, I sent off my message asking for a spell.
When Joshua said he would cast a spell for me, I tried to put it out of my mind. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I avoided Tina, spent more time with my friends, and threw myself into my work. I thought the more I could avoid thinking of the spell, the less disappointed I would be when it didn’t work, just like the other ones hadn’t worked.
I actually managed to make myself forget so thoroughly that I was taken by surprise when Joshua sent me an email to tell me he’d cast my spell. I had completely forgotten about it. I read his report, sent my thank you message, and tried to put it out of my mind again.
Tina Turns Up
I was trying not to contact Tina because I didn’t want to have to deal with my own feelings. She texted me a couple of times, but I didn’t reply.
Then one Friday night she turned up on my doorstep. She had a bag of takeaway food and a bottle of wine. She said a friend had let her down and it would be a shame to let the food go to waste. Did I want to help her eat it?
I let her in and we enjoyed a nice dinner together. We talked more than we had ever talked before. We ended up in bed of course, but this was the first time we had really chatted and laughed together before the sex. It was amazing. What was even more amazing was that she stayed overnight and beyond lunchtime the next day. She made no effort to leave as she always had them before.
A Perfect Weekend
For the first time I felt like I was more to her than just, well you know what I mean. I suppose for some men it would be the dream to be treated as a sex object, but that wasn’t what I wanted. It had started out that way, but had grown into so much more. And now Tina was still in my apartment after most of the weekend.
By Sunday evening she was still there. I had nothing in the house to eat, so I suggested we went out to a restaurant. She said that was a great idea, so off we went. We spent a lovely evening together. When we parted, it was over a lingering kiss. It had been a perfect weekend.
It wasn’t until I got home, alone, that I remembered to spell. I was amazed. This was the first time I had seen Tina since the spell, and everything had changed. I could hardly believe it, but the evidence was indisputable. For months I had been trying to spend more time with Tina, time outside of the bedroom. And now, after Joshua had done his magic, I’d had the perfect weekend with her.
Better and Better
The next weekend was just as good. No, better. Tina had been texting me during the week, and she said she was looking forward to seeing me again. We arranged to meet in town on the Saturday, and we spent the whole weekend together again.
On Sunday afternoon she asked if she could meet my friends. That was when I knew that this had moved into the beginning stages of a proper relationship.
If any confirmation were needed, it came the following weekend. In the middle of the night, cuddled up to me in bed, Tina told me she loved me. I told her I loved her too. I told her I had loved her for a long time, longer than I dared to admit.
She said she knew, that she could tell, but that her feelings for me had only recently turned to love. She said something had changed, she didn’t know what, but that she had found herself falling for me. I knew. I knew exactly what had changed. I could pinpoint when her feelings had changed, and it matched up perfectly with Joshua’s spell.
An Amazing Year
Tina and I have been together for a year now. I’d almost forgotten about the spell, but our one-year anniversary reminded me. It made me think about how this relationship with the woman of my dreams had come about.
I thought it was about time I shared my story. I hope it brings encouragement to anyone else who might be in a similar situation, although I guess my situation was quite unusual. I never believed the magic would work, just like I never thought I’d never be in another relationship.
Never say never I guess is the lesson!