Sometimes love doesn’t seem like enough. Sometimes it feels like we need more. Take Ruth, for example.
“I was obsessed with this guy. Like, totally obsessed. He was the only person I could think about day and night. I was losing sleep because he was on my mind. The few times I did sleep I was dreaming of him.”
Was this love? Lust? Or something else?
“Both,” Ruth told me. “I lusted after him, that’s for sure. My whole body ached for him. And I loved him, too. To me it’s the same thing anyway. Love is like lust for the mind. It was more than that though. I’ve been in love before. Never like this. This was an obsession, plain and simple.”
Ruth said her obsession was messing with her health, both physical and mental. Physically she was exhausted from the lack of sleep.
“That was part of it,” she says. “There were other symptoms, too. I was pacing all the time, a nervous pacing that I was doing without realizing it. My roommate couldn’t cope and moved out, leaving me to pay all the rent. That added to the stress. When I got fired, which was not a surprise because I was at work in body only, I got even more stressed.”
Even with all this going on — unemployed and with the prospect of being thrown out of her appartement looming — Ruth was more concerned with her unrequited love. The other problems barely registered. Her obsession had completely taken over her life.
Obsession with another person is not uncommon. It’s even more common when the situation is one of unrequited love. It makes sense if you think about it. When we are in love with someone and in a relationship with them, we are living the dream. Our heart’s desire is fulfilled (even if only partially, as can sometimes happen).
If that person is not reciprocating our desires though, then the emotion we are feeling for them can play on the mind. It might start harmlessly enough, imagining how life would be if we were with them, the things we might be doing, how we would be feeling and so on. But left unchecked, these thought patterns can turn into an obsession.
“That’s how it was for me, for sure,” Ruth agrees. “It started out with me wondering, what’s he doing today? What’s he going to wear? If we were together, what would I want him to wear? And then I’d start imagining he was there in the apartment and I was helping him choose an outfit. Before I knew it, it would be late at night and I’d have imagined a whole day together — breakfast lunch and dinner, working, playing, laughing and loving.”
Something had to change. Which is why Ruth came to me looking for an obsession spell.
Here’s the thing though: there isn’t really any such thing as an obsession spell. Sure, there are those less-than-honest so-called spell casters who manage to offer spells for every situation, but we all know those are just a means of extracting money from the unwary and vulnerable.
If obsession spells aren’t real, where does that leave people like Ruth? People who are genuinely suffering because of their obsession?
Fortunately there’s a simple answer: a good old regular love spell. Remember, the obsession comes about because the love is not reciprocated. By bringing the object of their desires together with the obsessed, a fruitful and loving relationship can ensue. Obsession within a mutually loving relationship is not a problem. On the contrary, it can make that relationship exceptionally strong — provided the obsession is reciprocal.
Which brings me back to Ruth, and her reservations about my solution.
“Yeah, when you told me you’d just do a normal love spell, I was like, no, you don’t get it. I need more than that. I need this guy to be obsessed with me. I didn’t just want him to fall in love, he had to be as mad about me as I am about him. Love wasn’t enough.
Love Is Enough
Ruth wasn’t convinced. On the other hand she didn’t have any more options. She’d tried a few so-called obsession spells from obvious scammers and wasted her money. I was offering to cast a real spell. It was ‘better than nothing’, as she said at the time.
I had no doubts the regular love spell would bring an end to her problems, and I was proved correct three weeks later when she announced that she and the gentleman in question were now ‘an item’. Ruth was still not entirely convinced she didn’t need an obsession spell, but her life was changing quickly.
“We were dating, and he said he loved me. That was cool, but I wanted more. I wanted him to be obsessed with me.”
Ruth told me of her desire, and I asked her why obsession was so important to her. I already knew the answer, but it was key for her to say it. “Because I don’t want him to leave me,” she said.
In admitting her true feelings, Ruth came to see why she didn’t need her boyfriend obsessing over her at all. Her desire for an obsession spell was nothing to do with what she wanted — the love of her boyfriend — because she already had that. It was a desire to avoid something she didn’t want — him to leave her.
“Yeah, that was a wakeup call for sure,” Ruth said. “Saying it out loud made it all clear. Your love spell gave me exactly what I wanted all along. My guy was in love with me. He’d do anything for me. That’s all I ever wanted. Worrying about something that might never happen was just dumb.”
Not Dumb, But Dangerous
I wouldn’t say worrying about the love of your life leaving is ‘dumb’, to borrow Ruth’s words. It’s a perfectly understandable state of mind. But it is also unnecessary and unhealthy.
Some concerns in life are not worth worrying about because we can’t affect the outcome. No amount of personal worry by you or I is going to affect the chance of a nuclear accident or a pandemic wiping out humanity, so there’s no point worrying about those things.
Fretting about the possibility of someone leaving you is different, because you can affect the likelihood of that happening. I see cases every week of someone needing a love spell because their partner has left them due to feeling suffocated or overwhelmed by a fear of the relationship coming to an end. In other words, worrying about a relationship can bring about a very real possibility of self-fulfilling prophecy.
Obsession Isn’t Bad
When Ruth came to terms with her own obsession, everything changed. “I learned to take each day as it comes and to enjoy our relationship,” she told me. “I can’t say I stopped worrying completely that he’d leave me, that’s always going to be in the back of my mind. But I no longer let it dominate my thoughts. And that made my obsession turn into something else: attention. I paid him all the attention I could. And you know what? The more attention I paid him, the deeper he fell in love with me. So I guess in a way I got him to obsesses about me after all!”
In the end, terminology like love and desire and obsession are just words. We can choose to interpret them in many ways. In my experience though, it all comes back to love. When someone wants an obsession spell, what they are really asking for is a love spell. They want a mutually loving and respectful relationship. And who doesn’t want that?