In my forty-plus years of casting love spells and helping people with their romantic relationships, I’ve seen a number of fashions and trends come and go. I’m not talking about clothes or styles of decor (although I’ve seen plenty of those too!), I’m talking about trends in the way people talk about relationships.
It might seem odd to think of there being trends in the world of dating, but it’s true. As times change, so do the buzzwords associated with relationships, coupling, dating, and so on. These days people talk about ‘swiping right’ or ‘swiping left’, and most folk know what they are on about. If we went back just ten years, nobody would have a clue what swiping right meant. That’s just one small example of how trends and fashions change.
It’s not just dating apps that help define these trends. Newspapers (remember those?), magazines, websites, Twitter and other social networks all help spread new buzzwords, catchphrases, memes, and ways of talking about old things.
Twin Flames and Soulmates
Two buzzwords that are particularly popular right now are soulmate and twin flame. These are interesting because whilst they are certainly not new words, over the years their meanings have been interchanged back and forth. By which I mean that the definition for each has been switched. In fact this has happened so many times that for some people the two terms carry the exact same meaning and can be used interchangeably.
Others will swear blind that soulmates and twin flames, far from being the same thing, refer to two completely different kinds of relationship. They will become most agitated if you suggest otherwise. What’s particularly interesting is that, even among those who believe these words don’t mean the same, people’s understanding of which word is tied to which definition can be the complete opposite. It can be a confusing situation, and I get questions about it all the time, which is why I decided it was time to put together this guide.
So what does each term actually mean? What is a soulmate? Does everyone have a twin flame? And how do you go about finding yours?
Before we look at using readings to find your twin flame or soulmate, I will share some common definitions. These are what are currently the most popular. But remember that whatever the so-called experts like to say, these terms are entirely interchangeable because that’s just how language works — there’s no central authority deciding what word means what. Meanings come about from shared understanding.
Soulmates
According to the most popular current definition, a soulmate is someone who is cut from the same energetic cloth as yourself. We talk about a soul being split in two at the moment of creation. You posses half the soul, your soulmate posses the other half.
In humanity’s search for meaning, finding a soulmate can be the ultimate goal. Bringing the two halves of the soul together awakens it and makes both parties finally feel whole.
A soulmate does not necessarily have to be a romantic partner. They could be platonic friend, a family member, a colleague, or a lover. Whatever the relationship you have with your soulmate, you feel an undeniable attraction towards them, though not necessarily a romantic one.
In making you whole, your soulmate helps you to evolve as a person. They enable you to finally realize your full potential, and you enable them to realize theirs.
By this commonly understood definition, everyone has a soulmate somewhere. Unfortunately there are no guarantees of meeting them.
Twin Flames
Again, this definition is the most popular currently in use, but feel free to interchange it with that of soulmate — you won’t be alone in doing so.
A twin flame is often also known as a mirror soul. Far from being the missing part of a split soul, a twin flame is your opposite number. They are the yin to your yan. They are to you as darkness is to light. They are your polar opposite, and of course, we all know that opposites attract.
It is usually said that meeting your twin flame will totally change the course of your life. Because they bring such a different point of view from your own, they will change the way you see the world. When you are together with your twin flame it’s like you see life from a whole different plane of existence. This spiritual awakening can make you want to be a better person, and to make the world a better place.
A connection, once made, can be traversed in both directions, so naturally the awakening created by twin flames meeting works both ways. You have the same effect on your twin flame as they do on you, taking them to a higher plane of existence.
This combination of you and your twin flame creates something that is much more than the sum of the two of you. It makes something greater than the whole, something that brings untold benefit to the world.
Not Always Romantic
Again, your twin flame does not necessarily have to be a romantic partner. Whilst there is always a deep love between twin flames, it doesn’t have to be a romantic love.
A relationship with a twin flame is always intense. In fact it can be so intense that it may not last. Being apart can be painful, but it can become necessary due to the burning intensity of the relationship.
Speaking from my own experience, I see many, many cases of someone losing their twin flame due to this incredible intensity. These relationships can be salvaged with a spell, but will often remain delicate due to their very nature.
Unlike a soulmate, not everyone has a twin flame. Waiting around for one would be a mistake. If you find one, it is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated, but it is not something that can be aspired to in the way we might aspire to getting a dream job or house for example.
How Do You Know You’ve Met Your Twin Flame or Soulmate?
This question applies to both twin flames and soulmates for reasons that should by now be obvious. The simple answer is that if you’ve met someone and need to ask whether they are your twin flame or soulmate, then they are not. Because you’ll know when you meet one of those.
That said, here are some signs. These are all things people have told me personally about how they felt when they met they twin flame or soulmate.
- You know, on a deep level, that this is the person you’ve been waiting for all your life. It feels like you’ve arrived at your destination, or that you have finally come home. When you meet them you know instantly they are your twin flame (or soulmate), and that you are destined for something special together.
- You will have the sense that you’ve known this person all your life, even when you meet for the first time. It’s like you were always meant to be together and it was just a matter of time until that happened.
- You will find that your lives have had many parallels. Perhaps you have suffered similar ailments, traumas, and setbacks. And you may find you’ve had similar high points too. Not necessarily in the same domains, but at similar times. If you were to plot the highs and lows of your life onto a graph, your graphs would have either the same shape or the directly opposite shape.
- Many people report having a telepathic or psychic connection. They can feel this connection without ever meeting the other person. It’s not unusual for twin flames to experience the same emotions, or even to fall sick with the same symptoms at the same time.
- Twin flames and soulmates share a sense that they have come together to better the world as a whole. That their relationship is much more than just being about the shared pleasure of being together, that there is so much more they can achieve.
- Almost everyone says they experience physical discomfort when they are apart from their twin flame or soulmate. This is not a sentiment that is limited to these two intense relationships though; lots of people experience this when separated from their partner.
- A relationship with a twin flame or soulmate gives your life meaning and purpose where before there was none.
Just Words
I want to reiterate that these definitions and explanations are based on what’s ‘on trend’ right now. Lots of people see things as the other way around. It doesn’t really matter, they’re just words after all.
Some writers claim that Plato first espoused the idea of the twin flame or the split soul, but actually it was via the character Aristophanes in his play Symposium that he said that. Later, in the same play, Socrates contradicted the whole idea. It’s amusing that people will quote part of the play and attribute the quote as being the thoughts of the writer not the character, and even more amusing when the writer’s name is used in our language to describe a non-romantic relationship (the word platonic coming from the name of Plato).
Words mean what most people agree they mean, not what a few elite scholars think an ancient philosopher and playwright said in a work of fiction.
How Do You Find Your Twin Flame?
Now we come to the crux of the matter: how do you find your twin flame?
If we go by the popular definitions above, we have to accept that you may not even have one. Also by those definitions, you do have a soulmate. Or at least did at some point in your history — there’s no guarantee they are still alive. Either way, there’s a good chance there is someone special out there for you. Perhaps you’ve already met them, but if that’s the case you’re not here reading this trying to find them.
The first step is to discover if you actually have a twin flame or soulmate. Given they could be literally anywhere in the world, this is easier said than done. It requires the services of a professional.
Just as you might go to a private detective to find a missing person, so you can employ the services of a specialist to find out if there really is someone very special out there for you.
I’m talking, of course, about psychics. I’ve already written a comprehensive guide about how to find a psychic (and how to obtain their services for free), so I won’t cover that again here. What I will do instead is share Millie’s experience with you, by way of example of how this process can work.
Searching For a Soulmate — Millie’s Story
Millie got in touch with me in the summer of 2012. It was going to be a special year for her, though not for the reasons she thought at the time. “I was living in London and there was just this fantastic buzz. It was the year of the Olympics and the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. The city was alive in a way I’d never seen before. London always has a brilliant atmosphere, but 2012 dialed it up to 11. It helped that we were winning a load of medals at the Games as well.”
After the joy of the Olympics, Millie fell into a depression. “It was that thing, you know, that sense of anticlimax after it’s all over. Autumn arrived, the games were over, life was going back to normal. The grey skies seemed more grey than before. But it was more than that. Something was missing. I’d shared that amazing summer with some great friends, guys I’ve known since my university days, but I didn’t have a boyfriend. It wasn’t something that had bothered me much before, but it had been playing on my mind that summer — the idea that I should be sharing this with someone I was truly close to in a way I couldn’t be with my friends. By the autumn it was becoming painful, and I came to understand that it was because I had a yearning not just to be in a relationship, but to be in a relationship with a specific person. It was like part of me was missing and I couldn’t feel whole until I was with that person.”
A Problem
There was just one problem: “I needed to find a specific person, but I had no idea who they were,” Millie told me. “It sounds a bit crazy, doesn’t it? To know there’s someone out there for you but to not know who they are?”
I didn’t think Millie was crazy at all. Her story was familiar to me — I’ve heard similar accounts many times.
Millie asked if I could cast her a love spell to bring her this mystery person. Unfortunately I had to decline. Much as I wanted to help, there was a problem: my spells are made to be cast on a specific, known person. I create a link between that person and the person who is requesting the spell, so if I don’t know who both parties are, I have no way of creating the link. It would be like trying to write out driving directions to a destination without knowing the address.
Help Is At Hand
It wasn’t over for Millie though. I suggested she turn to the services of a psychic.
Millie continues her story: “I found a psychic who could help over the phone. She was very caring and understanding when I explained my predicament, as she should have been seeing as she specialised in twin flame romance! She cautioned me that there were no guarantees I even had a twin flame, but I wanted her to go ahead anyway. I knew there was someone out there for me. It’s like I could sense it. Some days I would wake up filled with joy for no reason at all, and I was convinced it was because I was connected to someone who was joyful.”
Millie’s psychic reader got to work. Within a couple of days she had news. “She had found a connection — a strong one. The best news was that she thought this person was not far away. She said she couldn’t be sure of a location, but the connection she had found was so strong it had to be close by — possibly they were even in London as well! I couldn’t believe it. My heart was literally pounding when she told me.”
Arranging a Meet
The psychic had found a connection and confirmed the existence of Millie’s soulmate, but that wasn’t enough. “I had to meet him, obviously,” Millie said. “Without a name I couldn’t just look him up, so I asked my psychic what to do. She said she could try to draw him to a particular place. She said she couldn’t make him be somewhere at a set time, not like setting up a meet. But she said she could cause him to feel the need to go to a certain place, and that would have to be enough. She said if he was already in London, it should work. If he was further afield, then it was a gamble. There was no way of knowing if he could even get to London just because he felt an urge. I was willing to take that gamble. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
Millie thought things through, and settled on Berkley Square Gardens as a place to try to meet her man. The reason was simple enough: “I often went there to eat my lunch. It’s a five minute walk from where I was working at the time, and it’s a nice place. I usually grabbed a cup of soup and a sandwich from one of the places nearby and ate it at a bench, so it would be easy to be there every day.”
Being there every day was important because the psychic could only try to draw Millie’s as-yet unnamed soulmate to the square, she couldn’t get him there on a fixed day or time.
Berkley Square Gardens
“I sat in that park every lunchtime for two weeks,” Millie said. “And I went there before and after work, too. My friends started to worry about me, asking why I wasn’t going out with them. They asked if I’d met someone, which made me laugh! I couldn’t tell them what I was really doing, they probably would have thought I was crazy.”
She tried to pass the time by taking a book to read, but didn’t get beyond chapter one. “How could I read? I was watching everyone in the park all the time, watching, waiting, hoping. I couldn’t risk missing him. I became super-observant I saw things I’d never noticed before — drug deals going down, couples who were obviously meeting illicitly, and I’m pretty sure I saw a couple of spies meet at a bench too, though that could have been my imagination! I had to study everyone who was there. I began to worry that I wouldn’t know him when I saw him. Had he already been? Had I seen him and not known? Had I missed him? Or was he not coming? Was he in a completely different part of the country, feeling an unexplained urge to travel to London but unable to do so? Would he recognise his urge as being to visit Berkley Square? Did he know where Berkley Square was or that it even existed? I had so many questions and they plagued my mind day after day.”
A Phenomenal Answer
The answer became clear at the end of the second week. “It was Friday, after work. The square was busy because lots of people go to the pub after work on a Friday, and it was a nice evening too, so there were a lot of people out and about. Anyway, I was watching this group of office workers laughing and joking together as they crossed the square, and that’s when I saw him. He was sitting on a bench, on his own, and he was staring right at me. I felt this frisson of excitement, like someone ran a feather down my back. I literally shivered. It was him. I knew it was him. There was no possible way on Earth I could know that, and yet I knew that.”
Millie said she stayed glued on the bench. “My legs felt like they were made of lead. I just sat there and stared at him, and he stared back at me. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. There was absolutely nothing remarkable about him, and yet he was remarkable in every way. It occurred to me then that I had not tried to picture this mystery soulmate before. I had not tried to conjour up an image of what he might look like or how he might be. But sitting here, looking at him from across the gardens, he was everything I could want. It was like I had seen a long-lost friend, only more than a friend.”
In the end it was he who made the first move. He crossed the grass and sat down next to Millie.
“I looked into his eyes and said, ‘You came.’ He looked into my eyes and said, ‘I had to.’ I said, ‘I’m Millie’. He said, ‘Sam.’ And then I said, ‘I’ve been waiting for you all my life, Sam.’ God, that sounds so cheesy, doesn’t it? Like the sort of thing someone would say in a stupid romantic film or something! It seemed right at the time!”
Sam didn’t think it was cheesy, or if he did, he didn’t say. “He kept on looking at me and said, ‘Me too.’ And we just sat there, like that, not saying anything, for about five minutes, or maybe five years, it was hard to tell.”
Millie said she didn’t want to share too much about what happened next because it was an evening she will treasure for the rest of her life, and a shared memory between herself and Sam that will remain theirs and theirs alone.
A Higher Plane
“I will say that the rest of 2012 was beyond anything I could imagine. I thought the summer had been good, but the autumn and winter was simply amazing. I felt complete in a way I didn’t know was possible. It was as if I’d had a missing limb and never noticed until someone magically reattached it. It was like I’d been blind but now I could see, or deaf and now I could hear. Everything in the world was better — more vibrant, more defined, more joyful, more meaningful. It was like coming out of a coma, not that I’ve ever been in a coma, but I imagine it was like that! It was as if I had transcended normal existence and was living in a higher dimension. Sam felt it too. We had so much in common. Not basic stuff like liking the same food or the same music, but stuff that went so much deeper than that. It’s hard to explain, but it was like we were always meant to be together and fate had kept us apart until that moment.”
Does she think they would have met without the psychic? “Hard to say. I’d like to think so, because our life together now is so right. And Sam felt the same way I did, that something was missing from his life. But would we have found each other without her help? We’ll never know. All I know is that I will be eternally grateful to her for making it happen when it did.”
Maybe You Have A Soulmate
I love Millie’s story because I often hear from people who, like her in that autumn of 2012, feel like someone is missing from their life. It can be every bit as painful as being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, and in some ways more so because there is no apparent way forward — no way to send love letters or make romantic gestures. It can feel like a helpless, hopeless situation. Millie’s story gives hope. There can be a way forward, there can be resolution. And when it happens, it is life changing.
End Notes
Millie used a psychic from Kasamba, who I have written about here. I did not recommend any particular psychic to her, and she did her own research long before I wrote my guide on the subject. She and Sam are still together. They married in 2015, and had their first child in 2019. Although Millie no longer works, the couple still regularly re-visit Berkley Square. All names have been changed to preserve privacy.