My husband used to be very controlling. My friends could see it, I could not. They didn’t tell me they thought this for a very long time. It all came out one night in a bar, when we’d had a bit too much to drink. I was making the most of it because my husband, Tim, didn’t like me going out. That’s what made it come up in conversation. One of my friends, I’ll call her Clare, said something about how great it was Tim had let me out to play. When I asked what she meant she said you know, you’re never allowed to do anything fun. I thought she was joking, but the others were staring at the ceiling or the floor or anywhere but me and the atmosphere changed. It was like Clare had spoken this thing that must never be said. Nobody said anything about it for the rest of the night out, but that little nugget stayed with me.
It played on my mind over the next few days, working away at my head like a stone caught in your shoe. I think it annoyed me because deep down, really deep down, I knew Clare was right. Tim didn’t like me going out. And now that I was having these thoughts, I began noticing other stuff. Little things, like how he would always hog the remote for the TV and decide what we watched. How he always drove the car when we went anywhere together. How when he always asked about my day at work (which I used to think was him being nice), he wanted to know about all the men I’d spoken to, who I had had lunch with, that sort of thing.
There were bigger things, too. Like he would try to stop me seeing my parents, always coming up with excuses for why this weekend wouldn’t be a good time, that sort of thing.
I started testing him. I told him me and the girls were going for a night out to see a musical, and he came up with a reason why I couldn’t go. So I said okay, maybe next time. And then a few days later I said I would be going out for dinner after work for someone’s leaving do, and he said no I couldn’t do that because he’d already arranged something for us that day — a surprise. But the surprise was that when the day arrived, there was no surprise, he just didn’t mention it again.
Eventually I said we had to sit down and talk about this. I said it can’t go on, there’s something wrong here. Tim changed then. It was like I flipped an invisible switch inside him. Gone was nice Tim, replaced by this…not quite monster, that’s too strong a word, but soulless control freak. He said I was obviously having an affair (I wasn’t), that I couldn’t be trusted, hurtful things. He said from now on he would drive me to work and pick me up himself, to make sure he knew where I was. He told me I had to keep my phone on me and charged at all times, and installed a tracker app so he could always see where I was. He set it up to alert him if I strayed anywhere other than work or home.
It was very upsetting, Joshua. I still loved him, but he had changed. Or I had changed and was seeing him for how he really was.
I considered leaving him. I made plans. I packed a bag and hid it in the wardrobe. I made out I was sick, called work and told them I wasn’t coming in, and stayed in bed. I was going to wait until he went to work, then sneak out with my little bag of clothes leaving my spy tracker phone in the bed, catch a bus, and hide out at my parents house. But Tim suspected something straight away and he called his office and said he was sick too. He said he was going to stay and look after me. Stay and guard me, more like.
I felt trapped now. I couldn’t escape after work, and I was scared that even if I managed it somehow, he would know where to find me and would come and be his charming self and tell my dad we were off back home. I couldn’t see a way out. And also, in spite of everything, I still loved him and didn’t really want a way out. I wanted the old Tim back.
My phone ended up saving me. I was browsing around the internet in a dull period at work when I found your website. I wasn’t sure a love spell was what I needed, so I wrote to you Joshua and explained a bit about my predicament.
You cast a spell for me about two weeks later. I knew you were doing it because I could feel the energy the day you cast it. Tim could feel it to because he was weird that day. I mean more weird than usual. He went and shut himself away in the bedroom most of the day. When I asked if everything was okay he said he had a headache and needed to rest.
The effects began to show up a week or so later. It was subtle changes. Tim started being a bit more affectionate. He cuddled me, which he hadn’t done in months. He cooked us dinner (he never cooked; I didn’t know he could cook).
After a few weeks I tried a little test. I went out at lunchtime and walked a few blocks from where I work. He had either switched off the alarms or he ignored them, because he never called or showed up to ask what the hell I was doing.
I tried another test. A few days later I suggested he didn’t need to pick me up from work. I said it was a nice day and I could walk home to make the most of it. Tim agreed.
The energy was building and he wasn’t just like the old Tim, he was better. He had never been this attentive or understanding or lovely. I asked if he minded if I went out one evening with Clare and the girls as it had been so long since I’d seen them and he said yes, of course, why would I even ask? Then he said something I’ll never forget. He said I should go out more and enjoy myself more.
That’s how it’s been since, Joshua. I didn’t just get my husband back, I got a better version. It’s like an upgrade! I don’t know how you do what you do, but it’s remarkable. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.